The Return of the Retard

Right, so I haven't posted in awhile.

I'm in a strangely good mood, considering I haven't updated.

So it's been, give or take, 8 months since I last blogged about anything incredibly poignant.

A lot's happened. A whole lot.

I lost my job, or I should be truthful and say depression over my son leaving caused me to abandon it. Was it necessary? Oh, very likely not. It just happened, all I can do is accept it and move forward. I'm rehirable at least, and I have two great references if I need them. Thanks, Ali and Bryan.

I'm still looking for a job at this point. It can be fun at times, others it can be frustrating. I've had a contract job, but the company was just using us temporarily until they could shift internal resources.

My parents and I aren't talking much. My relationship with my Dad has gotten more strained since my son and his mother moved away.

My best friend is being fraudulent and seducing women online to placate his ego. I swear I could murder him at this point, but he's so depressed I think he'd off himself if I told his wife what he was up to. I can't even tell our mutual friends.

And me? I'm contemplative. I've had a lot of breakthroughs in the time I've been off work. I'm certainly a lot happier being away from that IceC*nt.

I'm getting closer to actually loving myself, and am in the process of teaching myself for the first time to have an opinion of myself, rather than let myself be motivated for others. It's a point of selfishness that I need right now.

I've gone back through and read a great deal of this blog, and to everyone who has actually taken the time to read it (especially Ali and Nate) I am very and sincerely sorry you had to read all that crap. It was cathartic for me at the time, I suppose, but looking back on it, it's really nothing more than whining.

I guess losing my job has made me sort of have to tear down and rebuild again, and it's given me a fresher perspective on life itself. I know I'm going to be all right, in time. And I've had a multitude of friends to get me through it, with both old opinions and fresh ideas.

That's really it. As for the love life, I'm actually laughing at that right now. Although being celibate for 8 months really sucks, it's not a big deal. An old friend whom I haven't talked to in an age once said to me: "Sex doesn't make my world go 'round...it just makes my world go 'round a hell of a lot easier."