First Post

Anyway...

Last post was just a test. This one will be my first actual 'entry'.

Since I'm home sick from some kind of irritating food poisoning/stomach flu, I feel compelled to write about my new job.

I spoke of new beginnings. So, after two years of college, and a dehabilitating back injury that damned near derailed my entire life, now I have a new job...right back at the old place I was at before. Any anonymous readers of my blog probably have no idea how ironic that is considering the circumstances.

I realized something new when I started this job. My apprehensiveness about every little thing is going to kill me from self-induced stress someday. I left my old job on very good terms, but also left a nasty work environment that many didn't survive as long as I did, under 'old management'. Since I'm trying very hard to shed my old skin of grudges and bad blood that the old company created, that's all I'm really going to say about the 'old days'.

I came back to find a completely different company, just with the same group of people. That same group of people created my apprehensiveness when I first came back.

I began to think of the old days, and in spite of what my friend told me to reassure me that things had changed, I became turned inward after I was hired, dreading that first day.

Apprehensiveness is good, but I somehow always resort to extremes in my mind when faced with a big life change. My wife remained supportive throughout all of these issues I had.

I was also fairly torn inside and assumed that I would have to completely give up school for all of this. It angered me at first, considering that I originally took on this job to support my wife through her Master's... then I realized... I had just been out of the cogs of society too damn long, and needed to snap out of it.

Two years of nothing but school and online games like Star Wars Galaxies, Everquest 2 and World of Warcraft will do shit like that to you. The injury I had also drove me into a very unhealthy weight gain, courtesy of my doctors making me paranoid of moving a muscle, lest I break my back and become paralyzed.

So, where is all this going?

My first day of work came and went.

Blew my effing mind. My new boss, who is also the old friend, made good on everything she told me, and then some. Everyone there works hard, that hasn't changed. But the nasty aura surrounding the entire environment and department and attitudes of people I used to work with is no longer there. It's an amazing thing what a good change of management can do. For the people that left, I don't miss em', and if I ever see them again, it will be too soon.

Another friend of mine that worked with me during those old days just came back. He, too, is experiencing the insane culture shock of working in a humane environment. Work environment is truly everything with a job, for me. Yes, there is always going to be stress, etc., blah blah, but this old co-worker and I are both amazed at the change.

He and I can't believe that we can get up and go to the bathroom without being noticed. We're amazed we can go take breaks without getting followed outside. We're amazed that we're not being micromanaged. We're amazed that we can go to ANYONE in our department and ask a question and not have to dread the person answering us sounding annoyed that we even bothered them in the first place. I even came across an old middle-management boss that I was known to butt heads with in the past, very apprehensive, and even that person welcomed me back warmly with a sincere, friendly smile and a handshake. It was after all that had happened that I had decided things had truly changed for the better.

Ok, so I did touch on the past by comparing it to the present, so I lied. But since the present is a GOOD thing, I make no apologies for it.

Now, that I've had the time to think things through rationally, without worry, I realize I can do things...my wife and I can proceed forward with our goals without financial worry. I see myself actually living in a house with her. I see us as a true family. I see myself going back to collecting guitars and my classic car hobby. And, I even still see myself finishing school. I see myself losing weight again. I see a lot of things turning 180 degrees and being better, in time.

My friend, the one that got me this job, she's awesome and I want to tell her that here, I owe her so much for this. My entire life is turning back around again because of her. So this blog entry, the first actual entry, is dedicated to her. I owe her more than she knows, and though she may never believe it within herself, I would like to take this time to say that she's one of the greatest friends any person can ever have.

Ok, I tried to eat something about 16 hours ago and puked it up, so I need to try and eat something again. Cross your fingers I keep it down, I really don't want to go to the doc today...