Merry Effing Christmas

I'm going to hate Christmas this year.

Allow me to elaborate first.

Every year since I can remember, Mom has always asked me what I want for Christmas. I've always had to go through this little song and dance when I give her some suggestions, due to the odd monetary relationship she has being married to my father.

My requests have never been unreasonable. I always keep them well-within what she's willing to spend. And she's very open about what she's willing to spend, because the monetary value of my gift will be given to me during the part where she asks me. It's just the kind of relationship we have.

I know Mom like a book now when it comes down to asking me. The first question that rolls into her mind is: "Is your Dad going to bitch about it if I buy that?". Why should she even care if the money comes out of her own pocket personally like it does every year? Like I said, it's an odd relationship she shares with that man. Every year since I was a child, she gets him grander and grander presents that he never asks for, and always spends more money on him. Okay, so I learned to live with that.

I'm starting to sound like a spoiled brat, but for me, this is how I was raised. It's more of a 'tradition' with my parents than fact.

Generally, I always got what I asked for. Back when I believed in Santa, they played the 'be good' card with me until Christmas Day, but other than that, little has changed. Until this year.

She starts asking me what I want. Typically, my wife and I have been getting a combined gift of money from her (we don't ask for that, she just gives it) and individual, smaller gifts. This year, she specifies that it has to be something more fun and not practical. She sounds loaded and willing to spend a bit more. I try money for me and my wife, and she shys away from that, telling me to pick something else.

So, I ask for a medium-range MP3 player, either HDD or FlashMem. I don't care which. Would work for me. She seems keen on the request, but that changed (surprise surprise) one week later. I start talking to her on the phone and was trying to tell her about the more affordable models to save her money, but then I am notified that she suddenly 'can't do that anymore'. Not right now. Not possible. I say okay, but naturally ask why. She is vague and says she can't tell me but it has something to do with the 'mood' my father's been in lately.

It is at this point in the phone conversation that my eyes roll so fucking far into the back of my head I almost can't get them out.

I poke at her, but she won't tell me. Obviously (I know that tone in her voice), he's within earshot. It's a little game she plays where she wants to tell me but won't tell me with him listening in. Many an argument she's had with him she's come all the way over at my house later to rant about him if she blows up. I listen primarily for amusement. But this time ... it's different. My wife's and my money has been tight for the last several months getting our debts back into line, so I can't afford this little expense I thought I was going to receive from Mom for Christmas. I was asked, keep that in mind. Now I'm being told "No". Naturally I want to know just what the hell my father's done to ruin things this time.

What it turned out to be made me really wish she'd grow a spine when it comes to him. He apparently was demoted up at his job and lost about 4 bucks an hour, but trust me, if I told you his salary, your jaw would drop to the floor. It's more of a long term thing, I suppose. But I've noticed it in his behavior. He's acting like a real asshole lately, and he needs to get over it. He will likely be re-promoted next year when the new position opens up for him to manage. IN the meantime, he still has a job, and he's still financially very well-off. Their standard of living won't even come close to changing.

So, he lost some salary, now he's naturally freaking out to the point of uber paranoia about money. He and my wife have that in common. *eyeroll*

The collateral damage of his attitude gone sour is my Christmas present got borked. I literally could think of nothing after Mom told me to 'decide again' (with far less enthusiasm than she did the first time she asked). I was so pissed at this point, you know what I asked for? I used to wear a green army jacket back in my youth during and after high school. I miss it. It made me look more like a bum than I already do. So I asked for another one. My psychotic ex made off with my previous one when we split up. I could buy one of those on my own with no hassle, though.

Mom's always been the one to cheer me up at Christmastime with my present, it's just something nice she does for me every year, so this is just depressing for me. I really don't like being strung along and be told to ask for something specific, be told I'm going to get it, then get let down a week later just because my asshole father wants to be a Scrooge and ruin everyone else's Christmas. My wife also was asked to make a decision about Christmas by my mother, she asked for some money to help out with tuition (books). She won't be getting it now.

But overall, it's not just the fact that my father is borking my Christmas present. It's the fact that his attitude about something so utterly trivial in the grand scope of things is pissing off everyone who cares for him. Even Mom is getting irritated with him. I don't call and talk to him much lately, and for good reason (his attitude). And I'm seriously considering denying my parents access to my son for our yearly pointless-relatives-you-never-remember family reunion this weekend as a roundabout punishment to my father for behaving like a childish ass. He'll probably get her something shitty, which will also increase the fireworks on Christmas Day, but I won't even go into detail about that.

Every year, my Christmases and birthdays with them are a big enough pain in the ass, and they treat it like some grand inconvenience, even though they still feel obligated to buy me something. I just about told my own mother to piss off this year and not to get me shit, just because I don't want to deal with the headaches anymore. Maybe I should just say that to them. Don't get me anything.

So, that's all I get this year. A green jacket. I'd almost rather have nothing.

So...when you're opening up something cool from a family member, you remember me. And what I'm getting. And yes, I picked the green jacket out of a sense of disgust because of wtf I had to endure to get to that point to begin with.

Merry Christmas!